Psychological Encounters

Oceanic Encounters

There are many types of people in this world. We need to deal with them.  We are sometimes are in intimate relationship with them. We may encounter them casually in the society.

The company you keep is very important especially for your well-being. Several times it so happens that we tend to get stuck around people who bring us down with their behavior, negativity, unnecessary nagging and their constant whining nature.

As a surgeon, I encountered many non surgical patients and people. Some were patients as they had symptoms, which required referral for surgical assessment. Others did not have any disease, but had to be listened, to rule out any disease.

Depressed and Pessimists

This is quite common problem which presents in variety of ways. It can mimic any abdominal or feminine complaints. It is a state of low mood and aversion to activity. It may be accompanied by any of a number of symptoms. A depressed person may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable or restless.

They may lose interest in activities that once were pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, or problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, and may contemplate or attempt suicide. Insomnia, waking early, excessive sleeping, fatigue, loss of energy, or aches, pains or digestive problems that are resistant to treatment may be present

Nothing in the world seems right to such people. They tend to see the negative side of every situation and revel in feelings of resentment and suffering. Such people make you even feel bad about their state of affairs.
Try to make them see that not everything is not as bad as it seems. If the complaints are severe suggest or help them to see a doctor. They need to be dealt with sympathetically. If one has to live with a depressed person then one need to be very careful about handling such partners. They are sensitive and work under a thorough medical guidance.

People who live in the past:

Some people refuse to forget their past no matter how much time has passed by. While it is okay to look back on sweet memories, some people tend to keep bringing up painful events that leave a bad taste in your mouth. They thrive on the anger and bitterness associated with that event and bring you down by talking about it at every given opportunity.

It is better to excuse yourself when they bring up the subject or tell them that you don’t wish to talk about it anymore. They should be suggested politely to learn to forget past bitter events and experiences and enjoy the present.

Self pity

There is nothing more annoying than people who feel that the world’s burden is on their shoulders. While each one of us has stresses and responsibilities of their own, there are some people who instead of finding solutions to their problems, keep wallowing in self-pity because they choose not to see another way out. Offer help to such persons and if they still don’t want to change, stay away. They have to be politely told that actions, and not wallowing, helps solve problems.


There are some who are constantly moaning about their woes. Whiners and cribbers like to go on incessantly about everything negative in their lives and tend to bring you down with their depressed talks as well. Help them see the positive side of things and if they don’t, don’t let their negativity affect you at all.

Beware of Hypocrites

There can be nothing more putting off than people who say something and do something else. Some friends can be sickly sweet on someone’s face and gossip about them the minute they turn their back. If you find that happening repeatedly, watch your back. If they could do it to others, chances are that they could do the same to you. They need to tackled shrewdly.

Casual  Interaction

There are some people who are casual in their relations with others. They would not bother even serious issues. They take life lightly and cheerfully. They constitute some spice of life.

Mud slingers|

These people like to make themselves feel better by speaking ill about you and pulling others down. They enjoy criticizing and judging you even though you consider them as friends. They also tend to blame you without reason. Such people behave in this manner because they are insecure. Be patient with them. If they don’t change, better avoid.

Wash dirty linen in public

Some individuals like to publicize their scandals and fights and involve as many people as possible in their ridiculous debates. While it is one thing to hear them, it can get rather ugly if they start affecting your life. It is better to stay away from this habit and such people.

Over analyzer

Why do some people like to make a mountain of every mole? They may be frustrated with their lives and subconsciously remove that frustration on people around them. They presume and jump to irrational conclusions. If someone  is making a big deal out of nothing, tell them that it hurts.

Adjustment Problems

It is a psychological response to some stress. People with these problems are different from anxious people who are anxious without any reason. If the complaints can be handled at the level of partner or family members, these should be tackled; otherwise medical help may be required.


4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    *My philosophy of life is:
    Look back & thank God.
    Look forward & trust God.
    Look around & serve God.
    Look within& find God.
    Face your past without regret,
    Handle your present with confidence,
    Prepare for the future without fear.
    *Quoted from ‘To get best out of life’ published in Yoga and Spirituality.

  2. 2

    Great philosophy about handling one’s own life.

    But as you know every body has to deal with people, some experiences were articulated.

    Being in harmony with Almighty is difficult achievement to be blessed with. Let people learn from you.

    Have a great day Sir.


    Dr. Madan Goyal

  3. 3

    Kavita said,

    I admire your work, both as a surgeon and as a writer…
    The patience that you have had to cultivate for your profession has grown into you… To be able to listen to all the types of people, is an art!! WOW!! I bow to you for that!
    And you have so beautifully described it all here, with insights on how to handle these different people… sometimes with deliberation, sometimes with tact.. but always with care!
    I love observing! Be it persons or objects around me… and all this observation thus far, in itself, has kinda taught me how to deal with people…Besides, having worked in the InfoTech world for a few years has sure gotten me to handle various types…and they are all an interesting lot! 🙂
    An excellent read, doctor..
    Thanks for sharing this..

  4. 4

    @ Kavita, Thanks for your comments. I am a surgeon and have no encounters with language and literature. I had been playing with surgical instruments, but could never play with words. While reading you, for the first time I realized that words, literature, poems and thoughts of people may be a big source of pleasure and happiness. You could flatter me on patience and dealing with people, is great trait with you. You could find a point of appreciation in whatever you write for others is a new lesson to me. Till date I have learnt to get focussed straight on the disease and fault, creating lot of problems with me, besides being it a good point technically, of course.

    Have a great day.
    Trying to learn
    Dr. Madan Goyal

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